In his book “Going Solo,” sociologist Eric Klineberg notes that one in seven U.S. adults lives alone. Klineberg found that not only were these adults not lonely, many actually had richer social lives
Alone time, which is sometimes called private time or solitary time and simply means spending time by yourself, is also good for you as it plays a positive role in mental health.
Being around other people comes with rewards, but it also creates stress.
Having time for yourself gives you the chance to break free from social pressures and tap into your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Finding time to be alone can also have a number of key benefits.
Improved personal exploration
Increased creativity
More social energy
Improved personal exploration
Becoming comfortable in your own company can give you the time and freedom to truly explore your own passions without interference. It can be a way to try new things, research topics that fascinate you, acquire knowledge, and even practice new methods of self-expression.
Giving yourself alone time means you can explore these things without the pressures and judgments that others may impose. Having time to yourself is critical for growth and personal development. Instead of worrying about the needs, interests, and opinions that others may have, alone time lets you focus on yourself.
Living alone tends to be seen in a negative light. However, researchers have found that people who live alone may actually have richer social lives and more social energy than people who cohabitate with others.
Reasons Why Alone Time Isn’t Always Easy
Some of these reasons people might struggle with being alone include:
Lack of experience being alone: Some people just might not be used to being by themselves because they are so accustomed to being around other people. The sudden absence of social stimulation can leave them feeling detached or disconnected.
Distressing thoughts and feelings: In other cases, being alone and focusing inward can be difficult or even painful. People might find this introspection distressing or find themselves engaging in rumination and worry.
Social stigma: Stigma about being alone can also play a role in shaping how people feel about solitude. For those who have been exposed to negative attitudes towards being alone or who see it as a form of antisocial behavior or social rejection, solitude can seem like a painful form of punishment.
Important to remember that being alone doesn’t equal loneliness. Where loneliness is marked by negative feelings associated with isolation, alone time involves finding freedom, inspiration, and rejuvenation in solitude.
Signs You Need Some Alone Time
It’s not always easy to recognize the signs that you might need some time away from other people. Some signs to watch for include:
Feeling short-tempered
Getting easily irritated by sometimes minor things
Losing interest in doing things with other people
Feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated
Having trouble concentrating
Getting anxious about spending time with other people
Getting Others to Respect Your Alone Time
Finding time to be alone isn’t always easy. Those around you may have different social needs and may not understand your need for solitude. Family obligations and parenting responsibilities can also make it tough to carve out time for yourself.
Some steps that you can’t take to ensure that you get the time you need:
Be clear: Tell the people around you, whether they are roommates, family members, or your partner, that you need time alone.
Be specific: Let people know what this means. For example, you might say that you need a certain amount of uninterrupted time to read a book, watch a television show, or listen to a podcast.
Return the favor: If people are willing to take steps to ensure that you get some alone time, it is important for you to show them the same consideration. Offer to take on some responsibilities while they have some space to themselves.
Be flexible: If you are trying to find time for yourself when you don’t live alone or you live in close quarters with other people, you’ll probably need to be flexible and look for opportunities to carve out time for yourself.
Try waking up early in the morning to enjoy some peaceful time to yourself before others in the house start to wake. If that isn’t an option, doing things like going for a walk outdoors or having other family members watch the kids or take over household duties while you take a break can be helpful.
